As the winter months roll around, Parliament House usually operates on a skeleton workforce, as the vast majority of the millennial and Gen-Z staffers make their annual sabbatical to Europe.

However, with the Labor party mostly employing middle aged ex-journos in these roles, and with the Liberal Party refusing to hire anyone under the age of 60 that is isn’t male and protestant – it’s the teal independents and the Australian Greens who are most visibly affected by this temporary youth exodus.

And with the nation gripped by both a catastrophic housing crisis and a relentless cost-of-living crisis, many would argue this isn’t the best time for our public servants to be plastering social media with summery photos

While the Teal Independents are completely indifferent to these kinds of class-conscious brand management, it’s only the Greens that are worried about optics.

Especially as the emerging third force of Australian politics attempt to negotiate changes to the Albanese Government’s new bill aimed at easing the housing shortage in three years time.

As the Australian Greens make their seemingly smooth pivot into becoming the political party of the working class, the old bourgeoisie past times of galavanting around Southern Europe to escape the Canberra frost must be erased from the public eye.

However, while Greens leader Adam Bandt and Greens Shadow Housing Minister Max Chandler-Mather would prefer their staff opt to holiday domestically – they are well aware that policing the travel itinerary of the sandstone uni subordinates would probably result in mass resignations.

The Betoota Advocate can reveal that Bandt has addressed this PR crisis in a 44-person zoom call this morning.

“Guys…” began Bandt, after everyone had finally put on some WFH appropriate clothing and turned on their laptop cameras.

“I mean, guys and girls… Actually I can’t say that either”

“Team. Does that work?”

“Anyway team, I know a lot of you are soaking up the Iberian Peninsula and the Greek Isles… But can we please remember to not be too tone deaf”

These comments resulted in a collective sigh from the Greens staff, as it became clear that this 51-year-old straight white male attempted to police the actions of his much younger straight white colleagues.

“I don’t mind photos of graffiti, urban decay, or even homelessness… But please no photos of villas and sangria”

“You’ve gotta remember that some people are poor. And the new plan is to get those people to vote for us”

“So keep Mallorca and Mykonos the fuck off Instagram”


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