TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact

In a somewhat psychopathic turn of events, residents of the affluent suburb Betoota Hills have today witnessed their neighbour basically commit murder.

At 2:03pm this afternoon Gary Pilkington was seen throwing out horrifically wilted Spathiphyllum, otherwise known as a Peace Lily, it’s native to tropical regions of the Americas and south-eastern Asia but also heavily popular in Betoota as a very hardy indoor plant.  

When questioned by his neighbours, Gary attempted to downplay the seriousness of his neglect, saying that “the plant was dying when he bought it.”

According to some of Gary’s neighbours, the plant more likely died because he’s “a cheap prick” and “couldn’t keep a dirt farm alive.”

“He just refused to water it, he said that if God wanted the plant to live then he would send down rain.” Revealed one neighbour.

“He refuses to pay for town water, so that poor plant has died because Gary won’t pay for a drop of water”

While water in the red capital is a little on the expensive side, residents are finding it hard to believe that Gary simply can’t afford to pay the water bill.

“He paid $6k to have his old dog’s hip replaced, that thing should just be put down!”

It’s not yet known if Gary’s neighbours are going to report his neglect to the police, but “it was dead when I bought it” is typically not an excuse in these types of cases.

More to come.  


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