ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A Betoota Grove father-of-four was spotted at The Whooton School Fête earlier this week in his dashing Boston Red Sox dad cap – completely oblivious to the fact that the New Englanders won the Major League Baseball ‘World’ Series yesterday in Los Angeles.
The Red Sox, who defeated the LA Dodgers in this year’s series, were the red-hot favourites going into the world championships and stormed home 4-1 to clinch their ninth title.
But all that is Arthur Cambridge-Grubb.
The 44-year-old is seldom seen without his Boston cap and his younger wife Kimberly is rarely spotted without her Yankees hat.
Our reporter approached Artie, as he’s known to his golfing buddies, as he perused the organic seawater selections at the fête to ask him about the Red Sox victory.
“Oh,” he said.
“Right. Can’t you see I’m busy here? I’ve got guests coming over tonight and I need to choose some seawater. Should I pay more for Atlantic or just settle for the el cheapo Pacific?”
A popular local beverage in Betoota is a vodka, lime and carbonated seawater. The drink was made famous by Robert O’Hara Burke, who tragically died of thirst after consuming 32 of them in one sitting.
The Advocate told him to choose the top-shelf, fully-import Arctic Ocean water because he’s worth it.
However, Artie went on to say he didn’t really give a blue fuck about baseball or the Red Sox – he just knows that the MLB teams make the most comfortable and locally ambiguous hats in the world.
More to come.
