ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

There was a time in the not-too-distant past where a young man – or woman – could enjoy an evening in the French Quarter and still feel like they were alive.

Nights could take you anywhere.

Whether it be shovelling or sticking a Class A Banned Substance into your sickly body, unprotected sex with a prostitute, a fistfight with a stranger outside a takeaway.

Anything, it seemed, was possible.

In recent years, there was still an element of this charming underbelly present in the suburb but today marks the death of any soul the French Quarter had left.

Opening this morning, a new ‘dapper gent’ barber shop as scratch the hairdressing itch the town didn’t even know it needed to scratch.

Starting at $40 for a beard trim, the deluxe service comes complete with a complimentary glass of a luxurious liquor or a crispy cold beer.

The Advocate was present at the opening of Connasse et Branlette Barbers on Rue de Fils de Pute this morning and witnessed the very last part of the French Quarter evaporate.

“The hired a DJ to basically stand behind some decks and play MC Solaar off his phone for an hour while a whole gaggle of social media influencers sipped on neat Scotch and took photos of themselves,” said our reporter.

“Then one of them got a haircut and the rest took photos of him in the chair,”

“After that, after I’d had four neat Lagavulins at 10am in the morning, I came to work and had a nap on the couch in reception. I don’t know how these people live like this.”

More to come.


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