EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

Netflix producers are at it again this week, continuing their very bizarre trend of sourcing actors that heavily appeal to young women to play murderers who are by no means, attractive in any way.

First hiring former Disney star Zac Efron to play the unibrow touting serial killer Ted Bundy, Netflix discovered that they’d just stumbled upon an award-winning formula that both appealed to women’s love of pretty boys and fascination with true crime.

Following that up by casting Sabrina the Teenage Witch/band frontman Ross Lynch as young Dahmer in this year’s ‘My Friend Dahmer‘, Netflix truly hit the jackpot when they hired Evan Peters to play an older version of Dahmer in Monster – appealing to both the millennial women who frothed over him in American Horror Story and Gen Z who discovered him via Tik Tok thirst edits.

Though family members of Dahmer’s victims have to constantly brace themselves for a new show or movie about this sick fuck every six months or so, they’ve never received financial compensation or even a heads up when they’re forced to relive their trauma for the consumption of a bloodthirsty audience – especially, as hiring attractive male actors to play these roles no doubt encourages people to romanticise serial killers, and blast social media with ‘sexy images’ of these depictions, even if the video of Evan Peters wanking himself off is to him fantasising about fish guts.

But honestly, when it comes to making that sweet money (Monster generated almost 200 million streams), who gives two shits about how the families feel – which is why Netflix has decided to hire the hot white boy of the year, Timothee Chalamet, to play serial killer/psycho clown, John Wayne Gacy.

Despite looking absolutely nothing like the bloke, Timothee will not have any extensive makeup work done as it might ‘detract from his sex appeal’, and Netflix knows the easiest and cheapest way to market a movie is for 15-year-olds to make hot edits of Timothee murdering teenage boys, to the soundtrack ‘Unholy’ by Sam Smith.

It’s alleged Netflix is also currently eyeing off one of the Hemsworth brothers or Jacob Elordi to grow a sick mo for an upcoming Ivan Milat biopic, and Stranger Things star Finn Wolfhard to play Richard Rameriz.

More to come.

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