ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Medibank Private has agreed to help clean the bed they shit in this week, telling their customers that had their data stolen by hackers that they’ll cover some of the costs to make everything right.

However, the costs to change ID documents such as passports and licences will incur a gap payment and will require a 12-month waiting period before they’re able to have access to the payments.

The besieged health fund says it’s a step in the right direction, says customer service representative Kane Reece.

“We’re invoking the ANZAC Spirit here at Medibank,” he said.

“Think of us as Simpson and his Donkey. We’re leaving nobody behind. We’re with our customers on their journey. We’re making do with the situation. We’re going to adapt and overcome,”

“There have been lessons, on both sides, that’ve been learned. Our security is now much tighter. The director of security here at Medibank has been hanged with his Tarocash tie from a water pipe downstairs in the car park. That’s just one example of the steps we’re taking to make this situation right,”

“We will help cover the costs of replacing ID documents. If you need a new passport, Medibank will provide $20 towards getting a new one. That’s if you have the most basic cover. If you have Top Hospital & Extras Cover, we might even pay for a new driver’s license. Just swipe your card at MainRoads and hope it works,”

“However, premiums will rise on December 1 because we need to give our CEO a golden parachute.”

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here