ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Son of God, Mr Jesus Christ, has lashed the NSW Premier’s plan to allow 10 000 people to go to The Everest at Royal Randwick this weekend.

“Fuck me!” said Mr Christ in a telephone call with the new New South Wales Premier Dom Perrottet today.

“My Dad’s plan never said anything about letting 10 000 cunts go to the races this weekend! The plan was 5000!”

“Jumping green Christ on a pogostick! I mean, letting 5000 people go was already taking the piss. But twice that? No wonder Dad fucking gives it to me about his creations all the time. He lets them do one thing and low-and-behold, the Australians are taking the absolute piss out of a tiny privilege Dad and I gave them and now we’re going to have to take it away,”

“If you keep carrying on like this, Dominic, you’ll end up dragging every grey-haired socio-economic handbrake on NSW into the recycling bin, right-clicking it and permanently deleting them,”

“It’s up to you, mate, but Dad’s plan was for 5000 at the Everest. No more, no less.”

The Advocate reached out to the Office of the NSW Premier for comment but have yet to receive a reply.

More to come.


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