ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Victorian Premier Dan Andrews has apologised for what he has described as “pretty fucken grim behaviour” by the state’s Labor MPs.

A report released by the state’s anti-corruption watchdog found that dozens of high-ranking Labor MPs had engaged in bullying, branch-stacking, misuse of public funds and many other things of that nature.

However, Andrews was quick to distance himself from the report’s finding, telling journalists in Melbourne that he knows nothing about it.

“Uh,” he said.

“Um, well, I guess you’ve, uh, all read the report by now and yes, the findings are grim, some would even say they’re quote-unquote fucking grim but the important thing is that I’ve spoken to all of my ministers and they have told me they know nothing about this report or know anything about what the report found, which is great because that means we’re all on the same page because believe it or not, I actually can’t recall anything happening that was found in the report, which explained that the unpleasantness around the branch stacking was going on years ago and I’ve, uh, only been in government for a short while so please remember that.”

Mr Andrews stopped to take a breath and make weird eye contact with a few reporters.

“It all happened a long time ago, we’re talking pre-covid here so those in, uh, glass houses throw the first stone or whatever, but I’m not concerned about this report, because I don’t know anything about it, but what I am concerned about is the new tidal wave of cases coming to our health system so we should park this whole IBAC business and focus on making sure we flatten the curve, remember that? That’s the Dan you all you should remember.”

Mr Andrews then smiled, nodded and indicated he wouldn’t be taking questions.

More to come.

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