ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Member for New England knocked off today in Canberra after a long week of putting up with a lot and like every other red-blooded Australian around the country, he ducked into his local for one or two.

But this afternoon, at Manuka’s fabled Public Bar, Barnaby Joyce had his afternoon ruined after he ran into the last person he wanted to see.

At the other end of the bar, holding a warm schooner of syrup from a jumbo tin of Black & Gold peaches, was Bob Katter.

Earlier this week, Barnaby’s boss announced that he was building a big dam in Bob Katter’s Northern Queensland electorate but he made the critical error of not letting Bob know before he made the announcement.

It was a move seen by many, including Mr Joyce himself, to sure up support for the Coalition if the upcoming election results in a hung parliament.

Katter could be heard by other people there, who told The Advocate, that he wasn’t about to let this government try to scratch his tummy.

“Can you believe this? I’ve been asking for a bloody dam since Sir Joh was knee-high to a Christchurch Suffolk ram!” said Katter.

“And those two pricks pull this fast one on me. And that Joyce, he gets his own dam nobody wants except the blokes who donated to him to beat old friend Tony Windsor. If you had a concreting business in Tamworth, you’d be ordering a Kakadu Prado thanks to old Barnaby.”

Katter then looked up at the bar and squinted.

Barnaby grabbed his pint and slid through into the pokie room and into former Nationals MP Andrew Broad, who was also trying to hide from Katter.

“We’re safe in here,” said Broad.

“He hates gambling. More than Derryn Hinch hates looking after himself.”

Joyce sighed again.

“I’m sorry, Country Boy. You might know how to fly a plane and ride a horse but being seen with you can still fuck my career.”

Broadie just nodded and put another crisp $5 note into More Chilli.

More to come.


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