The nation is reeling today after revelations emerged that one of the cleanest politicians in history might be involved in some sort of scheme that rips off taxpayers.

In news that can’t be believed, it’s alleged that Energy Minister Angus Taylor might be in charge of a government agency that is paying exorbitant amounts of money to private companies and individuals under shady circumstances.

This comes after the ABC’s 7:30 program broadcast details about the Emissions Reduction Fund, which a former Chair of the regulator says is essentially giving out carbon offset credits to private enterprises that shouldn’t be getting them.

The credits which can be bought and sold by companies, are given out by the government body to offset emissions made by big companies.

But, the former Chair of the government body tasked with making sure people aren’t pulling the piss with these carbon credits, says 70 to 80% of carbon credits given out by the government have ‘integrity issues.’

The whistleblower who the government has since replaced with a former mining lobbyist, says that credits are being given out for vegetation that was never getting chopped, already growing, or planted where it isn’t going to actually survive when the next drought comes along.

Despite costing taxpayers billions, the Energy Minister says there’s nothing to see here.

“Everything is shipshape,” said Taylor, who helped a company he set up sell water rights to the government for 80 million bucks even though they were worth less than half that (according to a very generous valuation).

The company he set up and formally directed booked a clean 52 million dollar profit off the sale.

“People don’t need to think about this. That’s why we’ve made the system so complex. So it’s so hard to understand amidst all of the jargon that you just tune out, while large landholders and well-connected people cash in off the fact we have blatant disdain for climate science and integrity.”

“Just trust us that this Emissions Reduction Fund is being run properly.”

“We’d never do anything crook like that,” said the minister in a government that’s spent the last 3 years plagued by dodgy grants, programs, and commonwealth purchases.

More to come.


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