Tourist In Adelaide Finds Herself Bored Enough To Actually Check Out All The Churches

"We've got some good cheese and stuff."

Tourist In Adelaide Finds Herself Bored Enough To Actually Check Out All The Churches


Despite decade-long campaigns by Triple J to promote the South Australian capital as a cool and exciting destination for young people, a recent visitor to the town has confirmed she will no longer be referring to Adelaide as ‘Radelaide’.

“I was always keen to visit Adelaide, but I’ve since realised it is not really that rad,” says Laura (29) from Wagga.

According to, ‘Radelaide’ is slang term for the city of Adelaide, South Australia. Often used by those who enjoy the sights, lifestyle and culture of Australia’s 5th-most-populated city.

After four nights in the southern township, Laura disagrees with this title.

“It’s for newlyweds and nearly-deads. I would not live there unless I was a retired or broke,”

“I actually spent the week visiting churches. How fucked is that?”

With a very short list of well-known former residents, many locals and tourists can confirm that Adelaide is nice – but not exciting.

Local young person, Tim (19), says that Adelaide isn’t as cool as Matt and Alex (Triple J announcers) would suggest.

“It might have been cool when Jimmy Barnes was still doing pub gigs, or when the Hilltop Hoods were around, but most of the cool people leave this place hey,”

“Farnham wasn’t really that cool to begin with. Other than that, it’s pretty much just Chris Pyne or Julia Gillard – and those two people epitomise uncool,”

With countless failed bids to host the Olympics and FIFA World Cup, even the mayor has publicly admitted that the city is kidding itself.

“[Laughter] Yeah, the IOC have told us that should probably stop bothering with our pipe dreams of hosting an Olympics,” says Martin Haese, who has held the position of Lord Mayor since 2014.

“As for the Soccer World Cup. I don’t think we’d have enough beds for the players. But we have to at least pretend, right,”

“[Laughter] We don’t mind, though. We’ve got some good cheese and stuff.”

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