Iconic AFL player Cyril Rioli has retired from AFL, effective immediately. It’s news that has rattled his multi-premiership winning club right down to it’s bronze members.

After 11 years with the club, Rioli has today announced that his time spent playing football for Hawthorne has come to an end, and he’ll be returning to Darwin.

“The decision to retire from football is something that I have thought long and hard about over the past 12 months,” he said in a statement.

However, in the Melbourne suburb’s billionaire-row, local investment banker and Forbes List 100 member, Richie Ridge (67) says he thinks it’s time’s like these that the highly-gentrified inner-city community should put their money where there mouth is and organise a decent send off.

“We should do something special for Cyril” says Richie

“After what he’s done for us, after what his body has gone through to bring us those four premierships”

Victor says the immediate life membership for the Hawthorn Hawks is a good start, but it simply isn’t enough. He, like any true connosuers of Aussie Rules football, are not taking the news of the injury-prone midfielders premature retirement.

“Maybe we should shake a can down at the clubhouse this weekend and see if we can raise enough for return flights to Bali for him and the family”

“Shouldn’t be too much from Darwin”



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