CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
In a weird, perhaps misguided decision from the global LGBTQI community, it seems Sydney has been picked as the host of one of the biggest ‘parties’ in the queer calendar.
WorldPride 2023 is currently taking place in a city that refuses to sell neat liquor unless it’s mixed with coca-cola, out of fear that out-of-control patrons might do ‘shots’.
This news has upset the property investors and downsizing boomers that now have been holding a pillow over the face of Sydney’s inner-city cultural precincts ever since they convinced the Liberal Government to ban pubs from playing music that louder than a pokie machine.
However, the NSW Government and Sydney Council are believed to have come to an agreement with ever powerful land-owning classes that they will accelerate and expand plans to continue demolishing inner-city public housing flats and relocate working class families to the city’s rural outskirts – so long as the gentrifiers can put up with three weeks of subdued WorldPride events.
There are more than 300 events happening across Greater Sydney from concerts to parties, theatre, exhibitions, sports and family events – all of which will take place at a reasonable volume. Thousands of extra police officers and City Rangers have been rolled out to militantly monitor liquor licensing.
For those of living in Sydney, you could be forgiven for not knowing this apparently ‘massive event’ is even taking place, as all of the corporations incorporating rainbows into their logos tend to do this every year for Mardi Gras anyway.
In a city that has reduced hospitality to either high-end dining, or dark air conditioned rooms full of computer screens that bleed the most vulnerable families of their household budgets – it seems Sydney has completely forgotten the free spirit that made the 2001 Olympics the most succesful game in living memory.
It’s for this reason that a glaring typo on major WorldPride sign Oxford Street actually makes sense today.
A 20×5 metre billboard ‘WORLDPRUDE’ written in comic sans with a Microsoft paint rainbow gradient, has perfectly articulated what international guests are very quickly learning about this so-called major city that offers nothing to anyone who doesn’t own a couple overvalued apartments or a pokie machine licenses.
Sydney council have apologised profusely for the very accurate gaffe, and have vowed to replace the sign as soon as possible with even more rainbows.
‘This is very embarrassing. We are not prudes! We are very gay and fun!” said a spokesperson for Sydney council.
NSW police, however, have urged residents and tourists to not have too much fun – but say they themselves are excited to exceed their weekly quotas of sniffer dog busts and noise complaint fines.
