CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
South Australia is getting a bit cocky, it has been confirmed.
After an entire fortnight of South Australian-centric headlines dominating national media, it appears that the wowsers from down south are getting too big for their boots – as residents seem to think that the entire country should continue to care about their inability keep the lights on.
With the entire nation forced to sit back and give a shit about South Australian Federal Senator Cory Bernardi’s decision to leave the Coalition and start his own poorly-thought-out conservative party – as well as the Coopers brewery’s weird obsession with bibles – South Australians are starting to feel more important than they are.
Despite the fact that the only other headlines that South Australia made last year involved racist people throwing bananas at Aboriginal footballers – the state that takes pride in the fact that they were the only state to not be settled by convicts – now thinks they actually play an important part in the federal government’s decision-making.
On Thursday morning, South Australian premier Jay Weatherill publicly rinsed Federal Minister for Resources Josh Frydenberg during a press conference addressing the South Australian energy crisis – this has resulted in many of his supporters now thinking that Adelaide is the new Canberra.
South Australian MP Christopher Pyne has admitted that, while South Australia seems to dominate headlines, he is aware that their state lacks any form of tangible income, and therefore, the rest of the country couldn’t care if they have black outs every second night over summer.
“Yeah look. We don’t have any coal… Well, not enough to warrant a seat at the table”
“Western Australia is about to learn this too when they run out. No one cares about how much noise you make if you don’t have anything to dig up”
“…And the fact that our biggest businesses are spruiking weird religious shit… Well, that’s not a good look either”
“I think most people outside South Australia couldn’t care that we are consistently having power outages…”
“I’ll do my best to get people to listen to us… But we haven’t had a Barnesy come out of here for while”