EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANECONTACT

Local woman Liz Short always knew that her friend Sam was the better looking of the pair.

Still, she’d long convinced herself that although her friend was a least one point higher on the hotness scale, Liz at least had her firecracker wit.

But unfortunately for Liz’s rather fragile self-esteem, it appears as though her mate has taken the vengeance route after being mercilessly dumped for another woman.

Rather than eating her weight in Ramen noodles and watching numerous Tik Tok videos for signs her ex would be calling, which admittedly, was exactly what Liz would have done, Sam decided to turn herself into the ultimate baddie – by losing five kilos, adding in some waist length hair extensions, and adopting the persona of a woman who knew she was top shit.

In theory, Liz should be overjoyed that her friend opted for F45 and expensive beauty treatments over suffering, but considering she’d been ingrained by society to compete with her female friends, Liz instead feels like a piece of shit.

As she pouts into the mirror to see what she’d look like with lip fillers, Liz finds herself pinballing between preparing a new beauty budget and chastising herself for being so shallow.

All she can really hope for now is that her friend is quickly snapped up by a good bloke, so she’s less motivated to keep up the effort at the gym and Liz can regain her footing without having to do any self-introspection.

More to come.

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