ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A largely forgettable city worker arrived to work in a pair of Birkenstock Bostons this morning like they’re a normal thing to wear on your feet.
This young man works in finance and went to a nice school but ultimately had to come to terms with the fact that he’s too meek and too part of the wallpaper to let his personality shine through to other people, so he paid out the arse for some weird shoes to make colleagues and polite acquaintances take notice of him.
His name is either Brad or Ben, our reporter is unable to read the shorthand notes from the interview.
“What? [laughs] You don’t like them?” he said.
“They’re so comfy. They’re like crocs but for people with a large disposable income and a smooth brain. Nah, seriously. What’s wrong with them? I just wear them around, like I don’t wear them all the time. They’re good for just popping on and going to the shops in, you know, like they’re not my favourite going out shoe or anything, I wear like my riding boots or like some Nikes or something when I’m going out, nah, I wear them down to the beach at Lake Betoota or when I’m walking my golden retriever, Chardonnay, around the park,”
“Well, they’re kind of like Crocs! [laughs] Like I just liked the look of them and I don’t like having things between my toes so there’s that and you know what, they’re just really comfortable and well, I saw this guy wearing them once and I was like, they’re actually pretty cool so I just bought them online from ASOS and they came in like a day so here we are.”
With that, our reporter closed the notepad and just nodded.
More to come.
