ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Leaked government documents suggest a plan for massive gas subsidies, public investment and the destruction of our ancient water table in order to get the struggling economy back on track.

The first section of the document outlines that the byproduct of destroying the water table, natural gas, is a valuable commodity on the global market.

Especially to China, who is off us big time right now.

The documents conclude by suggesting this natural gas could be sold to China for billions of dollars and create hundreds of thousands of new jobs over the next ten or so years.

What happens after that isn’t the government’s problem because most of them will either be retired, board-hopping or dead.

However, miles and miles of ‘green tape’ and ‘environmental protections have prevented government and private business from extracting this natural gas via a method known as fracking.

Fracking is the method of extracting natural gas from the earth by pumping water and other chemicals into a layer of ground containing the gas.

As fissures and cracks form in the layer, it rushes toward the borehole and up into storage tanks.

One of the many things that fracking does to the earth is destabilise what’s been essentially untouched for millions of years, leading to small problems like the water table getting trashed.

The Advocate reached out to the Prime Minister’s office for comment but have yet to receive a reply.

We did speak to a farmer who relies quite heavily on water to hydrate his stock and germinate his crops about the government’s plan to destroy the water table.

Tom Aires, of Brayner Downs on the Mount Hope Road, said he’d prefer it if the government didn’t frack for gas on or near his property because of what it does to the soil.

“Look, it’d be bad. I’d rather they did something else. But, you know, if there’s no other way then I guess it wouldn’t be that bad? Would they pay me for access? Would the amount the gas company paid me be enough compensation for the destruction of my livelihood?”

When asked if this would be enough for him to reconsider is vote next time, Tom said, ‘No’.

“Who else do I have to vote for? The soft-eyed Labor townie? He wears bootcut chinos and sneakers around town. Either that or he wears skinny jeans so everyone can see how big his thighs have gotten under that comfy little desk of his up Main Street. You’d think he’d have blue feet, walking around in jeans that tight,”

“I don’t know. I’m 68 and my kids have shown no interest in the bush so I might as well keep going until my right ventricle blows out when I’m jetting some tired looking and sick 6-tooth wethers. Might even get one last look at the sky before I slip away into God’s ram paddock. God, I hate the government.”

More to come.


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