ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

This old bastard that works up at the Woolworths Metro in the Old City keeps telling punters that he used to fly a Boeing for Diamantina Air Freight before all this shit kicked off.

COVID-19 did him out of the job, reckons David Deerman and his old employer all back blackballed him into taking a temp job at the Daroo Street supermarket until things get better.

“I flew a triple-seven,” he said.

“Biggest widebody with two jets, you’d know the one if you saw it.”

Our reporter said he’d been on a Qantas one with two engines that was pretty big – big enough to have the lay-flat seats heading to Perth.

David scrunched up his face.

“No! That would’ve been one of those wanker Airbus A330s!” he said quite loudly.

He then made a masturbatory gesture with his right hand as he scanned our reporter’s hot barbecue chicken with his left.

The chicken landed upside down in the bag and burst open, leaving the chook nude and dripping on top of a full calico tote bag of groceries.

“And another thing about those Airbuses,” he continued.

He coughed, rubbed his nose and went back to touching our reporter’s groceries.

“The yoke is on the side, which is aggressively French,”

“Ok, that’ll be $92.50.”

More to come.

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