As the Australian temperature gets to a pleasant level and our consciousness turns to “oi, it’s warm ay?” the nation begins the awkward transition phase from winter to summer fashion when wearing jeans and thongs together is unfortunately acceptable.

The first day of slipping on thongs during warmer weather is a welcome Cinderella-esque tradition of Aussie’s everywhere, although after a long winter, many are paranoid about showing off their lily-white pegs in comfortable shorts and opt to wear jeans with their thongs instead.

‘Australian fashion expert’ Matilda Bush says that while it can make logical sense to wear jeans with thongs from a user point of view, the final look is one of confusion and straight up anarchy.

“When I see it I assume that their legs must be warm or their feet must be cold,” stated Bush from beneath an ironic bucket hat.

“If they’re comfortable, it’s fine but…it just looks weird, like they didn’t have heaps of time to get ready or really want to show off their feet.”

People are being encouraged not to ‘thong-shame’ jean wearers as it can be assumed that those doing so must have weird legs which for men can either mean too hairy or uncannily hairless.

Instead, people are being instructed to treat jeans and thong wearers like you would if they were a normal, reasonable person and not like they are one of those people who keep their umbrella up long after it has stopped raining or doesn’t wear a jacket when it is really quite cold.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here