ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Our Prime Minister is showcasing the leadership qualities the nation has longed for today by attending a presser in Canberra this morning wearing a propeller hat on his head.

Speaking freely to the media in the public carpark under Parliament House, Scott Morrison said the nation needs to pause right now and put politics aside.

“Today, we need to take stock and count the chickens,” he said.

“Because Australians are resilient people. From all walks of life, people have come together under the common good of having a go, which is the fabric of our society as a whole.”

A gust of wind sent the propeller on his head spinning.

“We need to put our political proclivities aside and grow up. This isn’t the time for point scoring and gotcha journalism. It’s time to have a go. Help your neighbour and pray for rain. It’s going to be ok.”

A stronger gust blew through the colon on Parliament House, making the propeller on the Prime Minister’s head spin with such ferocity that it hummed momentarily.

“But the cricket starts tomorrow. How good is cricket? Don’t answer that out loud. Look into your soul for that answer. It’s a game played in all corners of the country, unlike the various rugbys that wild Victorian Rules brand of it. Ok guys, thanks.”

Scott then let out an earth-shattering cough and spat the thick, yoke-like byproduct on the floor of the carpark because that’s what blokes do.

More to come.


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