ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A local man in Sydney for business this week has told The Advocate that he’s not jealous of the people that get the call the Harbour City home as he immediately hit traffic driving into the nation’s weeping anal fissure this afternoon.

“I hate this shithole city,” said office supply salesman Dirk Rolland.

“Why would anyone want to live here?”

Mr Rolland’s query was answered by former French Quarter woman who now calls Sydney’s outer inner west home.

Michelle Dearden, a personal injury lawyer at one of the Big 6 ‘no win no fee’ firms, said she was essentially forced to move to Sydney to better her career because staying in law in Western Queensland can often lead to the ‘spinifex ceiling’ – a phenomenon where lawyers hit their top earning capacity within five PQE.

“I don’t want to live here, I want to live in the bush,” she explained.

“But I have to live here because otherwise, I won’t have a job. I won’t have much. Fucked schools, fucked hospitals, fucked libraries, fucked everything. At least here, there’s shops and doctors and teachers that aren’t ‘doing there time’ until they too can go back to the city and work in a nice school near the harbour,”

“It is a shithole city. Here I am making $87 000 a year repeatedly suing Coles and Woolworths for trips and slips, giving half of it to some chode landlord or the chode offspring of some chodes. I give the rest to supermarkets, health insurance and my Mazda 3 car loan. What fucken life is this? It’s not living,”

“No cunt can live in Sydney unless they’re making a bit of brass. Honestly, you need to make north of $150 000 to enjoy a base level of dignity,”

“No wonder everyone gets their bag and fucks off.”

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here