EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
Worried about finding yourself in the arms of a fuckboy this Summer? Follow this guide for more information on the five most common Fuckboy variants and how to spot them.
The Arty Fuckboy
Also known as ‘The Fitzroy Fuckboy.’ These are one of the most common variants of fuckboy, and can be easily identified by their mullet and moustache combo, patchwork tatts and lingering smell of vapes. Will either work in a creative field or hospo, and probably went to a private school. Likes classic work or musicians like Lil Peep and $uicideBoy$. Can be found at moody bars and bowls clubs.
The Finance Fuckboy
If the colour ‘beige’ was a person. This bloke likely works in finance or property (like his daddy) and will likely drive a Range Rover, BMW or Audi.
Usually seen sporting RM boots or boat shoes without socks, and pays a fuckton to maintain his slick fade haircut. Can be found in the CBD or anywhere overpriced and overlooking a large body of water i.e Howard Smith Wharves in Brisbane. Will scoff if you tell him you don’t have a GoalSaver account.
The Coastal Fuckboy
This linen lover is usually very health conscious but will regularly consume his weight in coke, pingers, acid, ket and weed gummies. And you’ll know because he’ll talk about it constantly.
Will either be into Crossfit or Callisthenics or something more laidback like surfing or acrobatics. Whatever the sport, he will somehow maintain a glowing tan and six pack at all times.
Likely European. Loves bush doofs and artists like Rufus De Sol.
The Suburban Fuckboy
Usually found in the Northern suburbs of Brisbane, the Suburban fuckboy can be identified by the fact that his fashion taste hasn’t progressed since 2008. We’re talking snapbacks, oakleys and an unswerving loyalty to Stussy. You’ll find this bad boy primarily shopping at City Beach but will splash out a bit of extra dough for a Tarocash suit (for weddings and horse races).
The suburban fuckboy is usually a tradie and either owns a ute or a modified car he’s spent too much on.
The Flashy Fuckboy
(Also known as ‘Criminal Fuckboy’ or ‘FIFO Fuckboy’)
A mix between coastal and suburban fuckboy, this bloke often has suspiciously large muscles, glaringly white teeth and loves a plunging V line, which he’ll pair with the tightest pants you’ve ever seen. Will likely wear vans or stupidly expensive sneakers.
Located primarily in the Gold Coast, chances are this bloke has some kind of job in property or club promotions or FIFO (Fuck in, Fly out). Probably also has a few ‘side hustles.’
High chance old mate has a VIP booth at multiple nightclubs and loves a night at the strippers.