ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Upon hearing his son had bought himself an MG, a local sexagenarian wondered if his son had come into a bit of money and bought himself a classic car – or he was having a third-life crisis.

As it turns out, Derek Maltfrost was wrong on all counts.

The 69-year-old spoke briefly to our reporter this afternoon at the Royal Betoota Country Club, where he told The Advocate all about his son Matthew’s recent car purchase.

“He’s gone and bought himself an MG four-wheel-drive,” he laughed.

“I feel like I’ve failed as a father. I mean, who in blue fuck looks to MG for a four-wheel-drive. In fact, I’m pretty sure the one he bought is front-wheel-drive. It boggles the mind, it does,”

“I phoned him at lunch to hear it from his own mouth. He said he got a good deal but at what cost? Jesus wept.”

Our reporter phoned Matthew Maltfrost a few moments ago to hear his side of the story.

When asked why he bought MG’s latest crime against humanity, the 31-year-old software developer said it was all he could afford – and his wife liked he look of it.

“I won’t be driving it much. Darcy will, though. She loved it and I don’t really care about cars that much. It’s got a good warranty and the lisping, wrinkle-free-shirt-wearing fuck who sold it to me seemed genuine enough,” he said.

“But Dad calls up and says, ‘Matty, I’ve heard you’ve bought yourself one of those fucking Guangzhou go-karts. An MG four-wheel-drive. What the hell is the matter with you? Didn’t you look a Kluger first?’ I get it, Dad’s a car person,”

“Even if I bought an ex-cab BF Falcon with 600 on it. Original motor and everything. He’d still laugh at me for buying the wrong car. I guess that’s what Dad’s are for?”

More to come.


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