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The Collingwood Football Club has today surprisingly decided against taking responsibility for its actions.

This follows former Collingwood player Héritier Lumumba revealing this week that Collingwood promoted a culture of racism when he was at the club.

The Brazilian born AFL All Australian said his nickname at the Magpies between 2005 and 2013 was “Chimp” and added the club turned a blind eye to a “culture of racist jokes” directed his way.

The retired player posted a message on social media calling out the coach Nathan Buckley, Eddie McGuire and AFL boss Gillon McLachlan for the culture of racism in the AFL.

However, as is normally the case with issues like this in AFL circles, Collingwood has since done everything it can to try and assure everyone they aren’t racist, by simply saying they aren’t racist.

This comes despite the fact people at the club called a player a ‘chimp’ – an extremely offensive term, recognised by everyone excepts for redneck white bogans who try to claim on social media that ‘it’s not racist because they wouldn’t care if someone called them that.’

“Lumumba was affectionately called chimp,” explained Eddie McGuire today, the man who played a pivotal role in the horrific and prolonged racial abuse of Adam Goodes, and said Goodes should be used to promote a King Kong movie among a raft of other things.

“Because, he milked free kicks,” continued McGuire the club CEO with a long history of appalling comments, echoing the sentiments of the southern and Western ferals who claimed they booed Adam Goodes for ‘milking free kicks,’ despite never once booing him before he took a stand against racism.

“But he milked them to help our team, so we called him that affectionately.”

“It was all fun, that’s why we publicly undermined him and pushed him out of the club when he sought to speak up about racism at Collingwood.”

“We don’t have a problem with racism, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!”

“Let’s just focus on the Footy tomorrow, should be a cracker at the G!”

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