With the majority of the world’s developed nations backing a probe into the spread of COVID-19, local butcher George Loukakis (52) is throwing his two cents at the wall.

Known for controversial stances such as putting corn kernels in a sausage, Loukakis has been treating any customer foolish enough to make small talk with opinions on who is to blame for the mandatory hand sanitizer that now sits out front.

“Deadset mate, one guy who comes in here, he works at Channel 9 and he says he knows mate, he knows,” stated Loukakis while selling chicken thighs at breast prices.

“There’s a reason why it’s hit so hard in the states mate, it was meant to be a weapon…doesn’t take a genius does it?”

Due to health and safety laws, Loukakis is only allowed a maximum of three customers in his store which for him has now become a revolving door of intimate audiences who can share COVID related gossip or else listen to his soothsayer warnings and take heed.

“China is going to be the first to open their doors, then where are all the tourists going to go huh? Mate from Flight Centre told me. Yeah…now you’re getting it…”


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