LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
The boys in blue got more than they bargained for today as a local taxpayer politely explained to them how their mandatory financial payments keep coppers like them in the job.
Local taxpayer Samuel Reginald states he took the time to politely educate the two unnamed officers about how his tax dollars becomes their banh mi money after they allegedly discovered him driving over the speed limit.
According to Reginald, his detailed breakdown about how his tax-dollar diligence supports the prosperities of the police officers careers was well-worded and informative, like John Oliver but with a bit of his own urine still on his hands.
Reginald was taken into police custody by the officers at 11:58pm, less than a minute after his TED Talk concluded.
In an exclusive with The Advocate, Reginald detailed how his explanation of the compulsory financial taxation system that pays for the copper’s fishing gear, was done with pure respect for both the officers involved and their bosses; every tax payer.
“You see, it’s simply a case that they are kept employed by the people and as such should work in their best interests to give the optimal result for everyone,” stated Reginald from inside the drunk tank on the far end where they put the mouthy cunts.
“Some poor person out there who needed police assistance more than I did. Sure, I’m probably in a higher tax bracket and have therefore contributed more to our state’s primary law enforcement but I wasn’t doing anything wrong.”
“If you saw your boss weeing in a payphone you wouldn’t arrest him would you? No! You’d let him get on with it while you go back to hiding behind a fucking badge and pretending you’re a fucking hero or something just because you went to year 12! Dogs!”