Australian Rugby League commission chairman Peter V’Landys has today had to pick up the phone and ask The Dragons what the fuck is going on.

Just when things were getting a little too quiet for the culture warmongering journalists at Fox Sports, the heavens have gifted them a news story that will get some fucking clicks. Israel Folau is reportedly on the verge of a shock return to the NRL with the St George Illawarra Dragons.

Media outlets began reporting on Tuesday that the Dragons are on the cusp of signing Folau to a two-year deal, pending approval from the NRL.

The possibility of the Dragons signing Folau, who became a four million dollar problem for the Australian Rugby Union when he refused to stop posting fundamentalist Christian memes about gay people burning in hell, just goes to show how fucked the Dragons must be heading into the 2021.

The Dragons have reportedly submitted a formal application to the league’s governing body.

It’s for this reason that the boss has had to make the call.

“Hook, are you bloody kidding me?!” V’Landys asked Dragons coach Anthony Griffin this morning.

“Folau? Really?”

“You are going to sign the most unmarketable 31-year-old in Australian sporting history?”

Griffin, a noted Craig Kelly supporter, implored Peter V’Landys to stop being such a snowflake – and insisted that he would be able to control Folau’s social media activity.

“Hook, brother. I don’t wanna sound patronising, but going off the last few years form, the Dragons exactly ‘the discipline club’ – at all”

“I think you boys are a better shot at winning the Premiership this year then going a whole season without a player no-faulted”

However, while V’Landys has the power to make anything happen, or not happen in the game of rugby league – there is growing concerns that the former Wollongong boy might allow Folau’s return to the NRL – as a gift to his beloved Illawarra.

“Are you blokes really that fucked this year?” he asked.

“Let me think on it”



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