As the South Sydney Rabbitohs begin the 2024 NRL season with very little to celebrate, the club’s enemies are relishing in their misfortune.

Roosters fans, Penrith fans, and Manly fans are this week pulling themselves to the collapse of the 2023 ladder leaders, who have lost 4 out of their last 5 matches.

However, the real Bunnies fans are nowhere near panic stations.

Resilient locals Rabbitohs fan, Roger Repairman (70) says it’s important to look at 4 losses out of 5 through a different lens.

“It’s a win” says Roger.

“That’s how I look at it”

“We’ve got a win there. It’s one win. But it’s a win”

As Roger points out, very few of these post-2014 Rabbitohs blow-ins will be able to remember the bad years.

“We got kicked out of the comp. Every sports administrator involved in rugby league sat down and decided we were so shit and broke that we should fuck off for good. Some of the people that signed off on this decision actually played for this club. It was very grim”

“There were too many clubs in the comp. And Rupert Murdoch said we were so shit that the only way we could survive was by teaming up with Cronulla and becoming one of those low breed merger clubs like the Tigers and the Dragons”

“But we wouldn’t do it. So they killed us. It took us two years of death threats and protests to get back in. And then when we got back in we were even shitter.”

Roger, and hundreds of thousands of Rabbitohs fans around the country, would attest – losing 4 out of 5 matches is nothing compared to winning 3 out of 4 wooden spoons when they finally got back into the comp.

“I see all these footballers online sitting in ice baths to build their resilience. Well, the early 2000s was one giant ice bath. It was a cruel immersion therapy that we could not escape”

“The Rabbitohs, in their current form, is a lukewarm shower. It’s absolutely bearable. And we have a long way to fall until we experience that kind of morbid chill that overcame this club in the Bryan Fletcher years”

“Look at it like this, we were in a grand final two years ago. We won a premiership ten years ago. We’ve got like 4 Origin players. This is just a slump. Kind of like what the Roosters went through between 1984 and 1995 when they made the semis just once in 9 years.”

“Haha fuck the Roosters were ordinary”

“Glory glory”


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