Despite the fact we pride ourselves on honest and unbiased news coverage, some readers have accused The Advocate of bias, particularly towards real estate agents. 

According to some readers, by repeating verbatim the exact methods they use to earn their commission, our reporting has been unfair to real estate agents. 

In the interest of balance we would like to present to you the 10 lies real estate agents are tired of hearing, with responses from Betoota real estate agent Alan McSchietgrinn. 

  1. “Nice to meet you!” No it isn’t. It never is.
  2. “Cool car.” Just say what you think sheep e.g. “Nice chode-mobile Mr Chode. Hope you’re in debt for that shit!”
  3. “Well, this is one of the better townhouses we’ve seen.” Yeah, as if bud, they’re all horrible, you’re just tired.
  4. We’ll be looking to start a family soon.” Pretty sure you can afford to create life and buy this place champ.
  5. “We need space because we do a lot of entertaining.” Sure you do. How come you’ve never invited me to anything then? You liar.
  6. “That’s above the average price for this area based on our research.” What research? You didn’t do any research. I am your research.
  7. This would make a great man cave!” Not sure if this is a lie but shut up anyway.
  8. “Hmmm, I’m not really into faux tudor.” Stop it. Yes you are. Of course you are.
  9. “Yep, send the link and I’ll give you a good review.” Come on sweetie, you’ll be too busy discovering black mould to do any of that shit. 
  10. “It was a pleasure working with you.” Lol, rightio. Just do us all a favour and give it a rest.


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