Our neighbours across the ditch are facing a grim couple of weeks after a fresh national emergency has plagued the island nation.

With the All Blacks suffering a historic second loss in as many weeks, the Prime Minister of New Zealand has ordered a fresh lockdown.

The All Blacks fell to a dominant Argentinian team 25-15 on Saturday, with an 80th minute Caleb Clarke try making the scoreline look a lot prettier than it was.

That followed the huge loss at the hands of the Wallabies the week before, with the All Blacks now facing an existential crisis.

“Until the All Blacks restore pride in our jersey and do our country, that always punches above its weight justice,” said Prime Minister Ardern said in a national address.

“You know there’s only five million of us right? And we do really well for a nation of that size in Rugby, League, Cricket and Netball okay, so let’s not get carried away,” she rambled off on a quick tangent.

“Anyway until the All Blacks beat the Pumas in a couple of weeks time, the country is in lockdown.”

It’s believed the lockdown is somewhat unnecessary, as the vast majority of the nation are in self confined isolation until their demi-gods right the wrongs of the previous two Saturdays.

“Our economy has been devastated,” continued Ardern.

“And the coronavirus pandemic didn’t help things either, so we need Sam Cane and the boys to lift in a couple of weeks time and fix this situation.”

More to come.


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