The United Kingdom is dealing with a dystopian new reality today, where the royal family is no longer British.

Despite ruling the country for centuries the English royal family are no longer on the throne, after a devastating defeat in the semi-finals of the Rugby League World Cup.

Sunk by a 84th minute field goal to young superstar Stephen Crichton, the English rugby league team managed to bomb out of the tournament at home.

That loss, in the one of the games of the tournament means that the Kingdom of England now needs to officially change their Royal family, and the their birth certificate.

“England is now the son of Samoa,” confirmed the new king of England, Jarome Luai.

Luai has ascended to the throne, taking over from King Charles – making Charles one of the shortest reigning monarchs in English history.

The Penrith playmaker now holds the throne to the Kingdom of England, as well as to the greater region of Parramatta.

Parades and celebrations have been held in honour of the new king in regions as far away as Mount Druitt and Campbeltown.

The Royal family have yet to formally offer a statement on the hand over, but it’s believed that they are seeking to blame Meghan Markle for the loss of power.

Australian Prime Minisiter Anthony Albanese also hasn’t commented on the situation, but it’s reported that if Australia win the World Cup final in a week’s time we may officially become a republic – with a bunch of NRL players finally getting the job done.

More to come.


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