LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Since ancient man invented the first drum by smacking their face and bum cheeks, it has been agreed that musicians are better music fans because they understand the whole thing.
This dedication to the arts has long meant that musicians are under no obligation to be polite to you about music, especially considering you’ve never listened to the classic album Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space you uncultured animal.
One such keeper of elite musical traditions is Taleb Crock, better known by stage name Taleb James, who as a guitar player knows everything there is to know about the over 50,000 years of music.
It is for that reason Crock’s friends couldn’t help but have the time of their life as the auditory connoisseur complimented a playlist curated by a streaming computer.
“Great playlist man, what are you spinning?” asked Crock, in what he assured our reporting team was not a Bondi Hipsters impersonation.
“Always good to meet another Jeff Mangum appreciator.”
The staff member at Betoota dive bar Ben Lee’s Disease then informed Crock the playlist was a pre-programed ‘90s playlist made by data-harvesting stats-driven programming available to all major music streaming services and not a edgy rednut hipster who isn’t for anything serious right now.
Crock’s associates report that their musical peacock of a friend then looked slowly at the ground and let out the sort of whimper usually reserved for small dogs dying of old age.
“I’ve never seen someone taken down so many pegs at once,” stated Crock’s mate, who as a non-muso would have felt no shame praising a corporate playlist.
“He spent the rest of the night trying to big-dog us with musical trivia, telling us shit about how Tame Impala is really just one guy and how Linda McCartney did more to break up The Beatles than Yoko.”
“None of it mattered though because he complimented a Spotify generated playlist the stupid pleb.”
“I am so getting him a Cold Play shirt for Christmas.”