LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

A terrible loss is sending shockwaves across the Betoota youth community as a party house has been ruined by a serious and loving relationship.

The party house known affectionately as The Gladstone, due its position on Gladstone Street in the Betoota French Quarter, was once the premier place for parties, kick ons, and benders. 

Due to being an all boy sharehouse, The Gladstone was always filthier than the toilets at an immersive mediaeval fair which meant guests could party hard without worrying about actually damaging the place.

Unfortunately for would-be partiers, one of the all-time piss cutting legends has hung up his party hat and popped on his much more comfortable attentive boyfriend hat.

Gladstone resident Chris May (22) has told his friends they will still have parties at their share house but they’ll need to keep it down after 10pm because Louise has work tomorrow.

“He never cared about us being quiet when I had an exam the next day,” stated Gladstone resident Gareth McKenzie.

“Fuck, Chris didn’t care about not partying when he had an exam the next day. What’s up with that?”

Research by The Advocate has concluded the reason for May’s sudden aversion to his house being the neighbourhood’s toilet are actual feelings of love and affection that he feels towards his girlfriend Louise.

“She said the funniest thing the other day,” stated May before telling a pretty standard story that we’re pretty sure came from Tumblr anyway.

“Anyway, I need to call it soon, we’re getting up early tomorrow for the sunrise markets!”

“Can’t wait!”

With The Gladstone now about as fun as joining a couple for their anniversary dinner, would-be partiers have been forced to return to partying in pubs before someone reluctantly offers kick ons and hates the whole experience.

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