A Betoota Heights man by the name of Brenton Thomas has this weekend been afflicted by a mystery illness.

The local man who always manages to make a tiny head cold look like the spicy cough, has had to put his feet up this weekend after coming down with ‘something.’

The unfortunate incident also comes at an unfortunate time, with Thomas scheduled in for a big weekend at his in-laws, who he definitely gets on very well with and was really keen to see.

“I just don’t want to risk giving them anything you know,” said the thoughtful and considerate local man as he fired up FIFA 23 on his PS5 just minutes after his girlfriend walked out the door.

“It’s not about me, it’s about trying to protect them,” he grinned.

“And if that means schooling a couple of mates and some random international teenagers on FIFA, then that is a cross I’ll bear.”

“Besides, this FIFA 23 only came out today, so I wanna get some practice in so I can hit the ground running,” he laughed.

“I hope they let Sam Kerr do backflips as a celebration if they are putting her on the cover.”

When asked about whether his life partner had any suspicions about the nature of his illness, Thomas just laughed.

“Look, I’m a big man flu guy, so I think she just assumed it was another case of that. All her sisters are down and the other in-laws weren’t gonna make it, so I don’t think she was too bothered anyway.”

“So it’s all gee. It’s just me and a bit of FIFA 23 until I cop a scrappy deflection goal in the box against my mate and I have to take a break,” he laughed.


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