EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle Contact

A local bloke’s sudden commitment to taking his fitness routine seriously has unfortunately resulted in some deal breaking repercussions for his poor girlfriend, who isn’t sure having bigger muscles to squeeze will be worth it.

After years of whining about being on the skinny side, Ian Helms [29] says he decided to ‘give this gym stuff a real go’, in an effort to go from skinny to swole – a resolution that may or may not have been prompted by the mortality crisis of his upcoming 30th.

Ian reckons committing to five days of working out has been achievable but that eating the right amount of protein has been ‘a bit of a task’ – more so for his girlfriend May, it seems.

“I’m glad he’s cut down on drinking and found a healthy hobby”, May tells The Advocate, “but his farting is absolutely vile now.”

“And it was bad before.”

Stating that it’s due to ‘all the protein he’s consuming’, May says she’s had to get Ian to make some compromises on his bulking journey, because it’s just getting too much.

“He’s not allowed to have protein shakes before bed anymore.”

“Unless he wants to sleep on the couch.”

More to come.


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