EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

A local bloke has this week been unable to allow his partner to have the limelight for just one moment, nor was he about to step up to the plate and actually look after someone for a change.

Spotting his girlfriend curled up in a fetal position on the couch with a graveyard of tissues covering the floor beneath her, Tim Cooke [32] had hesitantly asked her how her day had gone, knowing just by looking at her that she was not in a good state. 

“Eugh I feel so fucking SICK”, Steph had wailed, creating some DIY tissue plug to stop the neverending stream of snot gushing from her one unblocked nostril, “I bet it was that fucking person on the bus, I felt them spray me on the back of the neck.”

“Can you get my special woolly socks?”

“And massage my head? It hurts so bad.”

Offering her a sympathetic pat to the head before sitting at the end of the couch, Tim lets out a little sniff and pulls a face.

“Yeah come to think of it, I think I can feel a sore throat coming on.”

“Wasn’t feeling so energetic today either, probably caught something off you babe.”

“Have you got any more cold and flu left?”

More to come


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