LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact

An oversized bucks party featuring sixteen individuals who had rallied together to send off their soon-to-be married friend managed to organise a horrific blinder but failed to source a single piece of food.

Now the group of seasonal degenerates are starting the day hungover and hungry with only themselves to blame.

Having previously taken advantage of the new bucks party loans now available at several major banks, the core organising group of the buck’s party knew that before they had even lied to an Airbnb owner about the ‘no parties’ rule that they were going to have strippers and drugs.

“I’m willing to put in a grand a half for coke and strippers,” said one of the bucks in a group chat voice message because fuck maximising other people’s time.

“He said he didn’t want drugs or stippers but we need lots of each.”

And so it was that the first night of debauchery in Betoota’s wine country featured an Underbelly amount of drugs, three female strippers, and one male stripper for the ultimate in exploitative humour.

It wasn’t until the following morning that the boys realised how little they had prepared as they realised the fridge contained only beer, the nearest cafe was a 40 minute drive away, and that none of them could blow under .05.

“Is there seriously no food?” asked the groom who had snorted his mate’s collective rent just four hours ago.

“If I’d have known that I wouldn’t have crushed that packet of complimentary Milk Coffees into Mick’s hair.”



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