LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact

A Betoota family will never hear the end of it today as a tipping prompt sent bushie father of eight Kenneth Vaughn (58) into a two hour rant on Americanisation.

After previously freeing his family from the tyranny of wobbly tables, Vaughn was all smiles until he went to pay for the meal and was met by a prompt to leave a tip.

“W-what is this?” stammered Vaughh, looking at the eftpos machine like it was an Animal Justice Party how to vote.

“Really? Is this what it has come to? Is this where my taxes are going?”

“Not in my country mate!”

Although most Australians are about as overdue for a pay rise as a woman who’s 10 months pregnant, tipping is not considered mandatory in Australia as staff salaries do not rely on customers to contribute more as it’s already over $16 for avo on toast at most places anyway.

While tipping prompts on cashless registers are nothing new to frequent diners, for big smoke occasionalists like Vaughn, they are a threat to our democracy and way of life, dressed up in stars and stripes and a top hat.

“This is where it starts, it’s where it all bloody starts, trying to turn us all American!”

“They keep trying to celebrate Halloween every year! What’s with that? Why do we think it’s OK to let kids run around with masks on threatening property damage? Soon they’ll wanna go full America and give all the kids pistols. That’s what they want.”



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