CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
What is the measure of a good bakery?
Is it their cakes? Is it their bread?
Or is it their baked goods that sit somewhere between bread and cake, like pastries.
Some would say the only metric is the quality of their handheld dough pockets of gravy and stewed meats. Others would say that any bakeries that specialise in meat pies are actually pie shops.
The age-old debate over what constitutes a good bakery has kicked off again today, as a married couple of 30 years begin looking for somewhere to get lunch on the road.
And former grade footballing legend turned steel metal fabricator, Don ‘Donger’ Grisham (58) is once again willing to argue the point.
This comes after three decades of being happily married to a woman of more refined tastes.
Julia Grisham (59) has poured her heart and soul into civilising this man, but to no avail. He still thinks that she would be willing to pull off a 5 lane-highway to try out a curried steak pie that was cooked 72 hours ago.
“Nah nah nah it’s good trust me” said Donger.
“How do you know that” Julia asks.
“My mate Benno told me. He said you’ve gotta try it. Apparently there’s always queues out the door but it’s what? 10 to midday? We’ll be the firs there before the lunch rush.
“So you haven’t tried it says Julia?”
“How do you know what time they open?”
Donger realises they are getting sidetracked here, but still he feels the need to explain how the economy works.
“Because it’s a bakery. they have three rushes a day. They’ve got the 5:30am tradie run. They’ve got midday on the dot for the office workers. Then you’ve got 4:45 for the homeless shelters”
“Now it’s nearly midday and we should be bang on time for this joint. Take this exit up here. You’ll love it”
Julia is in no way convinced by this waffle.
“What are they famous for?”
Donger, now panicking with the exit approaching and his wife not indicating, begins saying exactly what she needs to hear, which means he’s also lying about the menu.
“Ummmm apparently there’s almond croissants. salad sandwiches. Carrot cake. Ummm they do a honey glazed sesame brownie or some shit. Coffee? Just take the exit”
25 minutes later and Donger is asking Julia if she wants a Sunkist or a V energy drink to wash it down, because there’s only two options for drinks.
