Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews has today announced an additional 471 coronavirus cases have been identified over the last 24-hour period, as stage 4 restrictions limiting the movements of residents sees an estimated 250,000 employees told to stay home today.

Melbourne’s stage 4 restrictions mean there are very few reasons for people to be outside of their homes, with warehousing, emergency services and only certain tradespeople allowed in the streets.

Police are now pulling people over to conduct compliance checks, with big fines now in place for those outside without a permitted reason.

However, as lockdown continues to ring dry the Melbourne workforce, the Victorian Liberals are on the front foot demanding that the government gives exemptions to the people hired to delete the tweets that appear to have landed the state in this position to begin with.

Victorian opposition leader, Michael O’Brien has today argued that the fifty Young Liberal members that his party have hired to scour through the last four months of Tim Smith’s twitter feed be classified as essential workers.

Tim Smith MP, a bloated born-to-rule Liberal from the blue ribbon inner-east of Melbourne, has become quite a thorn in the side of his party – who would probably be looking like a decent alternative right now if it weren’t for his manic late night use of social media.

Starting with his initial narrative that COVID-19 was just a ‘bad flu’ and that the Victorian government were greatly exaggerating its effects in an effort to ruin the economy (?) – Smith joined the chorus of elitist conservative commentators who were demanding schools and shops re-open – with complete disregard for the safety and wellbeing of the elderly and immunocompromised.

The 36-year-old human embodiment of a microwaved plate has since gone very quiet, after his downplaying of this virus that has has killed millions of people worldwide, began to take hold of his city.

While Premier Daniel Andrews is himself facing severe criticism for his corner cutting in the quarantine processes that led to this second outbreak, it appears Tim Smith MP and his equally blue-blooded supporter in Andrew Bolt are being pointed to as causes for the initialy complacency shown towards social distancing measures by the Victorian people.

Michael O’Brien is now arguing, that in order for him to keep his organisation afloat in this pandemic, and save the jobs of thousands of staffers and politicians – his newly hired Young Liberals must be allowed to go to work.

“We just need to delete those tweets. It’s a big job. There are thousands of them”

“He called Andrews a dictator about 2459 times at last count.”

“He said he had a communist agenda to shut down primary schools? I don’t understand that angle but if we don’t delete these tweets then there will be no Liberal party in Victoria!”

“Please Dan, let these young techno-literate millennials go to work!”


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