As things finally began to settle down in the Mid-North Coast of New South Wales, it seems the evacuation centres are once again filling up with camp beds.

After a disastrous end to 2019 with the Black Summer Bushfires, and a pandemic that decimated local tourism in 2020, they only got three months into 2021 before the flooding began.

Schools have closed and thousands of people have been evacuated from their homes across New South Wales with severe rain forecast to continue throughout the week.

From Gosford to Lismore, towns are preparing for the worst, as communities band together and with the sandbags and mobile floodwater pumps.

However, this disastrous weather event isn’t all bad news. At least it isn’t bad news for our elected officials who have been dying for something to take the spotlight off their failed vaccine roll-out and growing pile of sexual assault claims.

There was an almost chirpy atmosphere in the halls Parliament House this morning, as the swampthings were gradually informed about the seriousness of the floods.

Prime Minister Scotty from Marketing hadn’t even heard about the floods until one of the 18 young blokes that work in his office informed him that he might need to jump a quick flight up to Taree in the next couple days.

“Brilliant” he muttered to himself, as his pupils began to widen.

A thin film of moisture appeared on his forehead as the endorphins pulsated through his body, triggered by his mind’s eye conceiving the potential photo opportunities for him to roll up his sleeves and broom a bit of water out of a busted convenience store in Kempsey this week.

“This is the type of disaster we used to dream about in Marketing school”

“The mud, the horror, the cameras.”

“This is it. This spells the end of the Parliament House rape scandals”

“Gentlemen, find me a crying pensioner!!!”


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