The NSW Liberal party room has been forced to vote for a new leader today, after the inevitable resignation of Gladys Berejiklian last Friday

Hot Mess Gladys pulled the pin following an announcement that she would be investigated for alleged corruption related to public money that was given to people it shouldn’t have been given to because of her crooked ex-boyfriend yada yada yada.

So today, the NSW Liberals have decided to try something new by replacing Berejiklian with a deeply Christian white man who spent his early 20s attending meetings for the Young Liberals.

In fact, the new NSW Premier is so Christian that his name doesn’t even sound white.

Dominic Perrottet has been voted the NSW Liberal leader, defeating Planning Minister Rob Stokes in a party room ballot by 39 votes to 5.

Jobs Minister Stuart Ayres will become his deputy leader and Matt Kean, who is the current Environment Minister, is expected to be promoted to Treasurer.

Mr Perrottet is from the less dominant right-faction of the Liberal party – which means we can all assume that he salivates over the idea of nightclubs being closed to curb the behaviour of young people, and is a big supporter of letting religious scripture influence womens health policies.

Mr Ayres and Mr Kean are from the moderate-faction – which basically means that they are willing to accept the scientific evidence that suggests burning fossil fuels at an accelerated rate for 200 years might not be very good for the planet.

In good news for everyone else, it seems that Scotty From Marketing must now learn to get along with three egotistical alpha males who will not be as accepting of Canberra’s utter incompetence as Berejiklian was.

In fact, Morrison has openly talked shit about Kean, Ayres and Perrottet on talkback radio at some point over the last 18 months – so this should be fun.

The people of NSW look forward to their new leaders calling out the Federal Government in a few Annastacia-esque press conferences in the months to come.  


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