CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
After nearly a month in Iso, local bloke Tom Theiss is facing the soul-crushing predicament of having no one to validate him for, what he believes to be, a cracking sense of humour.
“It’s just not the same trying to talk shit about council workers with the wife after a bottle cab sav on the couch”
“You don’t get the eruptions of laughter that you get in the pub anyway”
The glazed metal importer is starting to realise his wife just doesn’t really appreciate his drunken dribble as much as his mates.
Or as much as the 19-year-old bartender at his local that fakes a laugh every time Tom makes a joke about the Sydney Roosters committing salary fraud.
Or as much as the old ladies drinking Shirley Temples that think he’s charming even if he is a bit over the top.
Or his greatest audience, the poor cab drivers who used to take him home after a long lunch.
“I would give anything to chew a cabbie’s ear off right now”
“If they are Indian, bring up the cricket. If they are white, bring up how Uber is a criminal cartel aimed at crushing small businesses”
“It’s so easy to talk shit with cabbies. I really miss it”
Tom’s says his lack of one-on-one time with cab drivers is made all the worse by the fact that no one in his three-bedroom family home on the outskirts of Betoota plains think he’s that funny at all, or interesting.
“I’ve got three kids. All of them are four years apart. They all have different interests… none of which include me or my understated brand of comedy”
“I can’t even get them to look up from TikTok”
However, Tom says the real heartbreaker is not being able to get the pain and strife to even crack a smile.
“I think it goes without saying that the missus has never really found me that funny. She says that openly now that we are in Iso”
“Especially when I dress up in a cowboy hat with leather chaps and only speak in a rural Oklahoma accent”
“She’s a real Carol Baskin, you know that!”
