Just one week out from the election and the Coalition Government is in the midst of a catastrophic identity crisis that will likely continue well beyond the May 21st election.

With even the National Party split into three factions between the ‘Rural Nats’ (Littleproud, McCormack Andrew Gee), the ‘Mining Nats’ (Canavan, Joyce, Keith Pitt) and the Coastal moderates (Kevin Hogan, Darren Chester) – this so-called broadchurch is officially out of control.

Not to mention the fact that the Liberal Party itself is now split into more warring factions than the main yard at Goulburn prison.

Throughout the campaign, Morrison’s willingness to sacrifice his own Liberal Moderates (Fallinski, Sharma, Zimmerman, Wilson, Frydenberg) to pro-climate Independents has shown the bad blood that already exists with the party. A divide that was only wedged wider by his decision to intervene on up to 12 democratically voted candidate pre-selections in NSW, opting to instead handpick a bunch of deranged culture wars conspiracists that can’t help but telling every journalist that bump into that vaccines are the mark of the beast and that LGBTI community is encouraging kids to mutilate themselves.

With the NSW Liberals actively undermining the Prime Minister, and branch members resigning in droves, it is hard to know what the media means when they say ‘Morrison’s supporters within the party’

On top of that, the genuine conservatives are at war with Morrison over his relentless prioritising of Pentecostal schools and colleges – in turn slashing funding for the Anglicans and Catholics. As well as his decision to rush through Net Zero commitments so that he could fly over to Glasgow to get photographed with Boris and Biden.

As a leader that his openly despised by both the left and right of his party, and the three different factions in the National Party, and is rarely even photographed alongside his deputy Barnaby Joyce – both voters and pundits have been left confused as to who Morrison is actually able to work with in the party.

Speaking to the Betoota Advocate today, a spokesperson for the NSW Liberals clarified this for us.

“Basically Morrison is in bed with the centre-right, which is a very loose term under this government” said the anonymous spokesperson.

” When we say ‘the centre right faction’ we mean ‘three or four blokes that believe in the same brand of rock n roll Jesus as the skipper”

“Actually, that’s three or four including him”

“Stuart Roberts, that bloke that invented Robodebt. Alex Hawke, the little pindick who has caged that Biloela family and stacked the NSW pre-selections. And some other bloke from WA, Ben Morton or some shit, bascially he was parachuted in from Sydney and looks exactly like Scotty – so most people don’t even know he exists”

“So yeah, to make it easier… Centre Right Faction = Hillsong Freaks”


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