The rowdy bucks party group chat for the newly engaged Prime Minister has descended into a full blown roast of the token Queenslander this morning.

After a basic itinerary was formed over weeks of highly unorganised messaging, it seems that Treasurer Jim Chalmers has decided to completely undermine existing plans by booking a party boat for a day out on the Logan River.

‘Albo’s Bux Chat’ is currently in overdrive, after it became clear that Chalmers had not only blatantly ignored the existing plans to spend the AFL grand final long weekend in Bali, but he’s also decided that the party should be hosted in his own electorate

The Treasurer has a reputation as notorious tight arse, with many colleagues suggesting his recent journey into sobriety is a direct result of his frugality rather than a desire to live a healthier lifestyle.

However, it was the captain’s call decision to book a 35 foot party boat to leave from some shit hole boat ramp down the road from his own home that is beyond the pale.

“The fuck is this” says Foreign Minister Penny Wong, after Chalmers sent through a photo of Party Time II, which will be leaving from Loganholme at 9:45am on a morning that suits him the best.

“Can you even take piss on this boat?” asks former South Sydney Rabbitohs general manager Shane Richardson.

The Treasurer defended his decision.

“It’ll be 200 a head, they’ve said we can bring on cans but no bottles. Also 20 bucks a head if anyone wants to hire one of their rods.”

The mere mention of fishing then resulted in another wave of abuse from fellow group chat members.

“ARE YOU OFF YOUR FUCKING HEAD?!” Attorney-General Mark Dreyfus furiously typed.

“FISHING IN THE LOGAN RIVER!?” Nobody is going to be wetting any lines you halfwit. It’s a bucks party not a 50th”

“Cancel the booking now. If I have to catch flight, I’m not going to fucking Logan”

Chalmers then delivered the bad news that it was too late to cancel the booking.

“Bro I’ve already paid an $100 deposit. If I cancel it I’ll lose half. If you wanna pay me back for that then sure”

It was at this time that Australian rock legend Jimmy Barnes piped up.

“Chalmers. You have well and truly dropped the ball here. This is one of the all time fuck ups”


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