LOUIS BURKE Culture Contact

The story that the ALP wishes would just fuck off appears to have grown horns today as a leaked document, allegedly penned by the Labor trio dubbed the ‘mean girls’, was leaked to the media.

The leaked document titled the Burn Book, features multiple scathing indictments of several notable Labor party members.

It was brought to the attention of the press when photocopies of the document were thrown throughout the hallways of several reputable newspapers and The Australian. 

Since its release, many defamed in the Burn Book have come out to defend themselves with Bill Shorten assuring Australians they can trust him and he did not make out with a hot dog.

“That was one time!” said Shorten.

“That photo of me at the sausage sizzle was not what it looked like.”

Former Opposition Leader Mark Latham has since responded to allegations he is a ‘fugly slut’ with a long-winded rant about political correctness before admitting he may be fugly, but he definitely isn’t the other thing they called him.

The only Labor party members not featured in the Burn Book are senators Kristina Keneally, Penny Wong and Katy Gallagher.

Our reporting team tried to organise a sitdown interview with the trio to hear their side of the story but were promptly told we couldn’t sit with them.

Although some have called out the term ‘mean girls’ as sexist, others have defended the reference to the classic high school film and encouraged others to brand Labor ‘clueless’ and list the 10 things they hate about them.

More to come.


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