The Member for Cook has today shocked the nation by revealing that he is physically incapable of saying the word sorry.

The former Prime Minister proved the point once again, by refusing to admit that his blatant attempts to undermine the nation’s democracy were morally and politically appalling.

Scott Morrison refused to offer a sincere apology for one of the most shocking abuses over power this week, as he faces a censure motion from the current government.

Known as a largely irrelevant political procedure that does little but score headlines and prove a point, a censure motion is a statement that is aimed at acknowledging something in parliament.

The current government says that while censures are rare, they do have a place, like when you want to remind everyone how the former Prime Minister orchestrated secret power grabs during one of the most turbulent periods in the nation’s history.

Speaking in parliament this morning, Scott Morrison said: “I have no intention now of submitting to the political intimidation of this government, using its numbers in this place to impose its retribution on a political opponent.”

He also said he was “proud of my achievements in this place, and I am proud of my government Mr Speaker.”

While a recent report by an independent Judge into the secret ministerial appointments found lots of polite ways of saying he was a power hungry psychopath who manipulated the political system to appease some weird egotistical desire, Morrison says he had to do what he had to do.

“You try running the government during a tough time,” said Morrison to The Advocate this morning.

“I did what I felt like I had to do to achieve as much power as a I possibly could, for reasons I refuse to explain.”

“And I’m not sorry, so rack off,” he said with his lip wobbling like a 8-year-old school kid refusing to apologise to a classmate.


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