A local early-twenties graduate stockbroker has today called it early that Scott Morrison will win the 2019 Federal Election.

While speaking to his uninterested mates about last night’s Federal Budget, the high-pitched neoliberal believes last night’s budget was very impressive, and so is Scott Morrison, considering what he’s been handed, and don’t downplay him just yet.

“Just you watch mate. He’ll win this thing”

“I’m really impressed by him and the other bloke [Josh Frydenberg MP]”

It is not yet known to the other punters at the Lord Kidman hotel why Hunter Bligh (22) feels the need to ruin a perfectly good piss up with weird political conversations, but the fact he is wearing a sleeveless puffy jacket with a checkered shirt says enough.

The former 3rd XV half-back for one of the most prestigious private schools in Western Queensland has paired his ‘concrete cowboy’ look with a pair of khaki chinos and dark brown dress boots – the type of outfit usually reserved for young Australian men who are confident they will never have to join the military and fight unnecessary wars in the Middle East.

who was barely even a teenager when John Howard was voted out of power, has today regurgitated his conservative father’s drunken golf rant that suggests the former Prime Minister was the greatest Australian leader in modern history.

“Mate” he says.


“You should read his autobiography. It’ll really change your view of him”

While appearing to talk from ‘life experience’ when discussing trade laws and tax breaks, Hunter is yet to reveal that he still lives at home and refuses to pay rent to his valium-addled parents because he needs to save for a new start-up idea.


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