The Nation

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A giant domestic pet toy has appeared in the Galilee basin today, after it becomes increasingly likely that the Greens will control the balance of power in the Senate. This news comes as the left celebrate the only arguably good news for them to cling to, following the convincing coalition win in the 2019 Federal Election. With the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The nation is collectively waiting to see how the impending recession this country will inevitably experience will be made out to be Labor's fault, despite not being in government since 2013. Spin doctors within the government say it'll be an uphill battle to convince the wider Australian public that this next economic downturn is the...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The short-lived renegade independent member for Wentworth Kerryn Phelps is reportedly planning to concede defeat today, after the votes land on Saturday's federal election. Analysts predict that the Liberals' Dave Sharma will retake Malcolm Turnbull's old seat, after Dr Phelps won it at a by-election last October. Nearly 75 per cent of the ballots have been counted, and Mr Sharma leads...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The organisers of the East Coast's most popular winter music festival in Byron Bay, Splendour in the Grass, are feeling pleased with themselves this morning after announcing a mystery act that nobody saw coming. Around 9am this morning, the Splendour team announced that Ocean Alley, a band from Sydney, is this year's Mystery Act -...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact It's becoming increasingly more like, according to the Australian Electoral Commission, that former One Nation senator Malcolm Roberts is going to win a Queensland senate seat at this year's election. That news is not music to mining magnate Clive Palmer's ears, after the colourful billionaire spent a rumoured $60m in a bid to get relected...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Prime Nightwatchman of Australia, Scott Morrison, has been promoted up the batting order overnight to opener after his unexpected and undefeated double-hundred yesterday. In addition to that honour, the Nightwatchman has signed on to be an official brand ambassador for OLED television, which is the custom. Speaking to the media this morning in Sydney's southern...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Prime Nightwatchman of Australia has survived to stumps this evening, defying all odds and finishing the day not out on 201. The Nightwatchman came to the crease some 267 days ago to steady the ship after a top-order collapse that saw team captain Malcolm Turnbull lose his wicket cheaply. Shortly before stumps this afternoon...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Betoota Grove man says he's exhausted this evening after a long day of volunteering for the Liberal Party outside Lake Drive Primary School. Hanging his black puffer vest up for his Mum to have dry cleaned later this week, Conor Douglas-Smith told our reporters outside a popular neighbourhood wine bar that the election is...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT From Mt Isa, to The Curry, to the Southern suburbs of Cairns and the Northern suburbs of Townsville - the voters from within the567,377 square kilometre Kennedy electorate all share the same concern. Namely, the fact that those bastards down south in Brisbane, Sydney and Canberra are trying to sneak one past them. With the Banking Royal Commission revealing the same...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Betoota Grove primary school has been caught selling gourmet sausages wrapped in a bun this morning, telling voters that they're democracy sausages. Local man Brendan Green contacted The Advocate after he voted earlier today at the Lake Betoota Public School to say he was let down and shocked by the experience. The 25-year-old lives...