The Nation

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Flap-clapping in a well-worn pair of thongs, the muffled swift of his torn tracksuit pants in the wind. His bronze frequent flyer card in his hand, wedged on top of his passport. Local man Darcy Michael has been in Europe for the past 90 days and he told The Advocate this morning local time that he...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A local young professional has today lied to her colleagues and the world at large, by claiming she always wanted to be Miranda. Referring to the popular tv show Sex and The City, the legal graduate at a large recognisable to people in the industry firm called Minties & Allens explained that she actually never wanted to...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT As Australian farmers continue to battle the ravages of drought, the National Farmer’s Federation has called on Australians to help drought-affected farmers by saving water. Whilst many of the measures suggested involve changes to everyday life, the easiest measure to adopt could be the one that makes the most difference. “All we are asking is that Australians continue to...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In a feel-good story from regional Australia, a local farmer has managed to hold on to his property for another month at least. This comes after Bill Walters managed to pay the mortgage with some vague promises of policy and action, rather than the traditional hard currency payment he usually makes. "Mate, what a relief," said Walters to...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The controversial group of schoolboys from St Kevins have received some better news today. The group who made headlines for a sexist chant on a public tram packed full of commuters have been informed that Sydney University is offering them full scholarships for their residential colleges! In what seemed something close to consequences for their actions, the...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT A local tradie has paid a touching tribute to the iconic Picture magazine today. After news broke that the magazine would be winding up at the end of the year, 44-year-old concreter Jason Thomas decided to pay his respects by flying his Eeels flag at half-mast. "It's fucked mate," said the Betoota Heights local who is still recovering...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT In some interesting news released by the Betoota Anthropological Society (BAS) today, it can be confirmed that 85% of friendship groups still have at least one mate banging on about cryptocurrency.  The report released today revealed that the overwhelming majority of people still have a mate who hasn’t given up on the possibility of buying a ‘Lambo’ with a...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Old City District advertising agency The Damn Brandals have been losing more hair than usual as they have been forced to actually do their job in the lengthy period between footy and beach cricket. With advertisements usually writing themselves in the summer, ad creatives such as Jamie Gardener (29) have been forced to use the skills he learnt...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With the announcement of an official inquiry into the treatment of retired racehorses by the Queensland Premier today, people from within the industry have called for the scope of the investigation to be adequately broad. The inquiry was announced by Annastacia Palaszczuk following the disturbing and sickening vision aired on the ABC's 7:30 last week detailing the treatment...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT As the pointy end of pregnancy approaches, a Central Coast couple have today finally whittled down their favourite 20 baby names - to severely modify and distort with random vowels and consonants. With not long now until the due date, Alison and Jeremy Wilson told The Advocate they have spent months going back on forth on the shortlist. "It's...